I dont remember most of december, to be frank.
I have been sick for 3/4 of this month with the flu. for the first week i was completely paralyzed. i couldn’t really move, it was horrific and i hated it. im still congested, but im better.
When im writing this, its chrismas eve. I feel nothing. I learnt that i might have BPD after several incidents of me splitting. However, due to me being a minor they cannot diagnose me with a personality disorder. I dont know why, i already have autism and other disorders that effects my personality on and off line. I have lost several friends because of me acting obsessive over rayman and others. In my case it would help to diagnose me, i have already have fucked up a lot due to ubdianosed mental disorders and learning disablites.
my mind plays many tricks on me, i hear voices, and see things. Im not sure how i got so fucked up, but i do know most of my actions are influenced by others. I used to do a lot of exterm stuff in hopes of getting attention, and i got the opposite.
So dont be like me kids. please go outside.