Hello hello.

I have been absent for about a week, and i apologize for the absence.

In reality, i have been recovering post suicide attempt.

To explain, i had taken an entire bottle of kids chewable advil. The thing i did wasnt posion to me, as i am 5,9 and nearly 17 years old. I had done many research on overdosing on advil.. but turns out kids advil is less effective. So it didnt do much, but the stress caused me to kick start my period.

I am also suffering from a pretty bad cold. i am not sure if the advil had anything with it, or the stress caused it. I dont want symptathy, i just want to explain why i wasnt there. Updates will be every thursday now. see you all later!

Autism spectrum disorder is a condition related to brain development that affects how people see others and socialize with them. This causes problems in communication and getting along with others socially. The condition also includes limited and repeated patterns of behavior. The term “spectrum” in autism spectrum disorder refers to the wide range of symptoms and the severity of these symptoms.
- Mayo clinic

I am part of the autism spectrum, i feel like that its pretty obvious to everyone who reads this website beyond the front page can tell that i am. I talk a lot about my special interests, and i tend to repeat sentences over and over again.

As of late, i have watched a lot of videos on Lolcows from the 2000s and 2010s, and a lot of them are autistic, or i sense they might be.

I watched this video by MagicMush about DeviantArt oddies, and the 3rd person mentioned was an autistic man whose user name is MollyHaleIsMyFriend. He mostly makes colleges like this:

I then looked at the side of this post, and theres about 10 colleges like it:

Now this isn’t a situation like JustinRPG, whose colleges were mostly fetish things. Magicmush pointed out how he seems to be stuck somewhere in his childhood. All the characters he has in his colleges are from his childhood in the 80s and 90s, and Mush pointed out how that his parents probably didn’t know how to deal with an autistic child in the 80s and 90s, and so let him just do whatever.

MollyHaleIsMyFriend’s case is very interesting to me, when he is accused of being a creep he seemingly has a meltdown online, and counties to repeat phrases over and over. His art is repetitive, there’s no doubt, but it makes him happy. I don’t see the harm and the need to harass him is unnecessary.

Now why do i bring him up?

Well, he is a good example of how lower functioning autistics tend to do things like this. I am also lower functioning, and we often get made fun of for our repetitiveness or interests for random things.

My own example is mentioning Rayman is my husband over and over again. To the point i have made people uncomfortable from mentioning over and over again. I understand this, and have made an effort of keeping it in private dms and this journal. Honestly, i do think this is better. I can just info dump on here, and no one is here to judge me. Its MY space on the web. Its FOR ME.

Yesterday, i was on call with my friends. One of them talked about how she got the other one a video from David Menkin (Ramon’s VA) for her birthday. I had the money, so i bought one for myself. It costed about 90$, and the request was for Ramon to say that he loves me.

When i tried to tell my other friend, she was shocked. She said 90$ was a ridiculous amount of money, and that i should’ve saved it.

Honestly? I think we should let people spend their money on whatever they want, unless it is for buying illegal content or stuff of that sort. Im nearly a grown man, so i know how to spend MY MONEY!

I have a lot of goals. So, i thought, why not make a section dedicated to my updates and goals? Maybe if i become a lolcow one day, this will be used in a documentary about me. I’m probably gonna end up on the KiwiFarms, to be honest. I have many plans for my selfship with Rayman, including things that will end up making me famous for doing some “cringe” stuff.

But, why do people care?

Im not sure, thats an article for another day. This is a post about my goals!

First of all, i would like to get 100% in all 3 Rayman Origins save files on PC. I want to know the game like the back of my hand. Heres a screenshot of the progress:
SAVE FILE 1: 87 electoons, 18 of 51 lum medals and 3 skull keys.

the other save files dont have anything done in them yet.

…

Thats about it?

Strange.. but i will update if i have any other goals.

Today was uneventful, i set up this page and went to Walmart. That is about it, to be quite honest.

But it got me thinking, im not sure how to write journals like this. I see a lot of fellow netitizens having long paragraphs in their blogs, but im not like that. I just write what i want, though i feel like my posts are too short. I lack detail in my writings, like a lot of people criticize me for. I dont know how to format posts like this.

I dont like when my posts are short, it makes me feel like they lack content. It is for me, sure. Yet i fail to improve on things i have told my friends i would. Frankly, it makes me feel like shit. I promise things to people, than fail to keep my promise. Years of not having therapy will do that to you.

I am also autistic, so i guess that might also effect the way i write. I haven’t done research on that, but i do know us on the spectrum are often mistaken for using ai. Which pisses me off.

Anywho, i hope the one who reads this enjoys my thoughts.